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I am so sorry.Could you just forget me? I actually want you to this time.
I must be bipolar or have a disorder that makes me this stupid and immature.
All I do is stuff full of nonsense and I want to die.
I push things too far.
I make my friends angry.
I never mean to but it happens.
Then I cry myself to sleep.
I know how much I mess up.
I know that I am being disrespectful.
Or I'm proud for no reason.
I know you think I'm seeking attention even though you don't tell me so.
I am just being me.
Someone who can't do anything right.
I can't breath right, talk right, walk right, think right, act right, do right.
And that's the whole reason why I hate myself.
You tell me other people would be sad if I died it possibly kill themselves too.
Truth is, none of you have the guts or care enough cause all I ever do is get angry at you or make you mad or cry or disappointed..
All I do...
All I do is
Should I really trust him?Some people say I'm ugly. others say I'm cute.
some say I'm perfect. some won't tell the truth.
Then when I confront them, they tell me they don't lie,
they say that I should trust them, to that I ask them why...
They say not to listen, to their stupid lies
The hug me and they sooth me, and make me feel alright
He says not to listen, and let their words get to my head
But then I calmly told him, if that's true, then why should I trust him?
.~*The Light Within*~. Project for school... A dark shadow cast over a village in a small land. A girl stood outside the gates, staring at the riot inside with her soft green eyes.
"Why do they blame me?" hot tears began to stream down her face, "This isn't something I've done!" She turned to her only friend, A beautiful black pelted wolf dragon with a fiery blue main and patterns.
Her eyes, unseen, were replaced with black markings, yet still possessed sadness and pity that burned for the girl and the monstrosity inside the village.
The demonic creature spoke gently through mind with a dry, yet soothingly pleasant voice, "Darling, they know no better than to accuse the being they place as 'odd' among them,"
"But Neschume!" the girl stood crying, sorrowfully staring at Neschume, keeping a soft and emotionless face. "These people are all I have left that is human!" she hid her face in the fur jacket sleeves.
"Echo, you have the company of the wise and well-being the forest wolves provide you," S
''Just in-case I'' Suicide letterJust in case I grab a knife and shove it through my heart....
I love you so much that I get so confused when I try to think about how much I love you. You KNOW I want a future with you, and it's always possible, but there's a chance it wont happen. I never wanted to lose you this way. I hope you realize I never meant to be a jerk to you I never meant anything negative in our relation ship, and especially towards you. I do not joke; I LOVE YOU. Stop blaming yourself for shit. Sure you were the one who wanted to do stuff but I'm the one who didn't try to stop you. If I cared enough I would've. And if I end. Don't you dare blame yourself. DON'T YOU DARE end yourself either. You need to look after Sam. Poor boy needs help with his soul. You were born a medic. You mended my heart, help him mend his.
I love you.
I love you bro. You're so special Imma never forget ya. I hope you realize you have more than me and you just don't understand it. You kn
ICIWICIWI would, if I could,
but I can't.
So I won't.
And if I won't, then I cant,
But I could.
If I would.
This world is confusing.
Scattered like stars,
in the sky,
A wave of confusion,
on our towns.
What's left is just trash.
of some sort.
But it lets us begin again
a new heart.
Let it all die
for time's never ending.
If I tried
but I'm weakened by words.
But I can't,
build it again
even with strengthened soul.
So I won't,
Let. Me. Grow. Old.
One Step CloserTake a breath,
One step closer
Say a word,
one step closer
another step closer..
more steps closer
so much closer
Try to hold on
too much closer
Slow your breathing,
two more steps
Say your last words,
Let go, it's useless
You're already there.
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
Mist, Snowflakes, Water, and back again.Waiting in a confusing atmosphere
singing a silent song of fate
glancing at the crystal glaciers
of this gigantic, icy cold, place.
Fading into clouds of mist
that hide the secret that is hidden
Floating up into the sky
only to find myself as snowflakes - broken
Finding all the scattered pieces
isn't the hardest part of all,
putting it all back together
is where I actually begin to fall
Once together I only break
this fragile surface is cracked at once
Then finally as midday comes
the pieces become melted by the sun
Woven together in partials of water
I smile over the density of pain
This beautiful feeling only lasts a while
as the ice and fog grow thick again.
Hidden in a cloud of mist
Broken into many snowflakes
Falling as I put myself together
then melted to water
where heat forms me to mist
This, is my never ending cycle.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More